Intimacy

Yes we had made love,
and perhaps became one
for a fragment
of those splintered orgasms,
escaping in spite of ourselves.
But when she says intimacy,
I think of the times you sat silently
and wiped with the ends of your shirt
the edges of my
red spectacles
as I kept on writing
feigning ignorance
of your presence, the heaviness of which was
its lightness;
that and the roughness
of the skin around your nails
which I grazed and you bit
in assurance, in anxiety,
in memory , in forgetting.

And Forgetting ensues,
entering engulfing
as quietly as love had exited.
How nimbly his fingers work
unheeding on my memories,
lips tracing the scars marked as oblivion:
a moment's incision into a million segregate thoughts, and

where you were, a tingling sensation of enforced vaccum,
worse, worse than the pain you drew in your presence..
I cheat a little,
I refuse acceptance of certain facts,
like
I imagine you still remember what my hair smelled like,
before other sensations took over.